Don’t should on yourself!
Don’t should on yourself! Seriously though, get curious for a moment. How often do you should on yourself??
I should:
- eat less
- workout more
- lose weight
- gain weight
- make more money
- be better
- do more
- do less
- eat more healthy
- eat less of that
- etc. etc. etc
Is it a should storm up in your head all day everyday? Don’t worry because you are not alone friend. We are essentially conditioned in our society to feel like we “should be doing more”.
Every time you should on yourself, you’re basically shitting on yourself. Pretty “punny”, right? But seriously, you’re sending a message to your subconscious that you’re not enough. Guess what, friend? You are enough!
Here’s what to do…
Start to become aware of how you talk to yourself throughout the day. Notice how often you say to yourself or even to someone else, that you should (fill in the blank). As you do this, you begin to build an awareness. Be patient and compassionate with yourself as this can take some time.
If possible, try to reframe it in a positive way. For example, imagine you say to yourself, I should have finished this project hours ago. Hear it and maybe say to yourself, I’m doing the best I can on this project and it will be done when it’s done.
In this example, just notice what came up for you reading that statement. Did you feel a sense of… Relief? Worry? Cynicism? Whatever came up, notice it as information. If you felt relief, maybe that statement is one you can put in your back pocket and use. If you felt worry, perhaps you’re lacking in a sense of trust in yourself that you can get this work done. Perhaps you’re fearful of what your boss will do or say. If that’s the case, is this job serving you? Just the simple act of noticing can provide you with some valuable information! Just be careful not to go down the rabbit hole of over analyzing. Been there, done that and continuously trying not to.
You might be shoulding on yourself on the regular for a long time and that is ok! Ideally, you’ll get to a place where you can notice it and reframe it and move forward. Remember its not all or nothing and there is no perfection in this crazy ass journey called life.
At the end of the day….
