In The Power of Choice Part 1, we discussed the connection between free will and reclaiming who we truly are. Today, I want to integrate the concept of free will into our decisions around food. My intention is for you to eventually be able to determine if your choices are coming from a place of authenticity, programming or a combination of the two.
Authentic and Disharmonious Choices
Let’s explore the difference between an authentic choice and a choice influenced by programming.
I see free will as the choices that we make. Choices can be beneficial, harmful and everything in between! It’s not for me to say what is beneficial or harmful for you, so I will delineate the choices as authentic or disharmonious. As we’ll learn, it’s not that cut and dry in real life!
Authentic Choice
An authentic choice comes from…yes…a place of authenticity! The more authentic choices you make brings you closer to reconnecting and reclaiming the Self.
The choice is not influenced by others opinions, fear, messaging, programming, habits, patterns, etc. They are generally conscious decisions that you make for your overall well being. With that said, they might not always be what you want to do or feel like doing in the moment. However, you have a deep knowing that it in your best interest, long term.
For example, there are days where I don’t want to meditate. The days that I discern it it in my best interest to push myself, I always feel better! That has also helped to build and deepen a regular practice specific to my needs. I’ll dive deeper into this example in a moment.
I’ll also talk about this more in future posts because having a regular meditation practice is something that I have had to work very hard at to develop. Feel free to sign up for my email list to stay up to date on all of my content, offerings, etc!
Disharmonious Choice
A disharmonious choice is influenced, to some degree, by fear, messages, programming, habits, patterns, false narratives, limiting beliefs, etc. It’s important to note that a disharmonious choice might feel like an authentic choice. It might even feel like you’re “in control” of that decision.
However, if one is able to step back as an observer, you can see the choice is actually being influenced by external factors. Some of these include: fear of what people might think, fear of your body changing, believing you don’t deserve certain foods and believing you have to look a certain way for people to accept you. Friends, the list goes on and on!
For me, the days I am resistant to meditation are often coming from a disharmonious energy. Often its an avoidance of what might be present or just old habits resurfacing. With that said, some days I’m SUPER ungrounded and my traditional meditation practices are not the best option for me. As we’ll learn, this is a very individualized approach.
Let’s explore a hypothetical “real life” example as it pertains to food.
Authentic or Disharmonious Example
Imagine that for the last 2 weeks someone eats eggs and toast for breakfast. Every single day this person consideres their options and consciously decides they want eggs and toast. They determine the amount, how to prepare it and when and where to eat. Every decision is made based on the person’s authentic needs and wants.
Now, imagine another person has also eaten eggs and toast for breakfast the last 2 weeks. At one point, this was a conscious decision for them. Over time, it became a habit. At that point, there isn’t a conscious choice. It’s part of their routine. It might feel very matter of fact and just another part of their day.
Gray Rainbow Space
Please know that I’m not saying one is better than the other. If you’re new to my content, I like to live in the gray rainbow space cause I worked VERY hard to get there!
For many people, having to decide what to eat can quickly lead to decision paralysis. Consciously deciding every single step could be far too overwhelming! For some, having a routine of what and when they eat is grounding and helps to ensure that they nourish themselves.
So you see this isn’t about right or wrong, this is about what works for you at this point in your life. With that said, it’s important to have an awareness of our habits, programming and patterns so that you can make a conscious decision as to whether or not it is serving you. Authentic free will is truly what puts you in the driver’s seat of life, friends!
When in doubt, ask yourself, is this me authentically wanting/needing/choosing this or are unconscious, subconscious or even conscious programs, beliefs, habits making the decision for me?
Spoiler alert, it’s probably a combination!!
Who is in Control?
For this example, let’s imagine you’re at a restaurant. You look at the menu and decide this is the meal that I want right now. It feels like a conscious choice made with free will. Great!
Let’s dig deeper. How did you decide? What layers came into play with this decision? You can think of layers as determining factors that go into the decision.
What is “healthy”? What will satisfy me? Did I exercise enough? Will this give me acid reflux? Will this make me gain weight? How hungry am I? Will I like it? What will everyone think? Will it taste good? What can I afford? Does it contain any allergens? Will it agree with my stomach? Is it all organic? Will I eat the whole thing? Should I ask them to box up half? Will it be too spicy? Do I have my epipen? What is my blood glucose right now?
Oooof, no wonder making a decision is exhausting for so many people that struggle with food!! Please also know, this is not an exhaustive list. There are countless layers (or however you want to label it) and legitimate questions that can arise for each unique individual. Many times they arise so quickly and are so conditioned into your process that there isn’t even a conscious awareness that it is a deciding factor!
Get Curious
Here’s where it really gets fun, friends. The same layer will have a different energy for each person. For example, if you don’t have any known food allergies, wondering about possible allergens is likely coming from a place of fear/anxiety. If you have food allergies, this is an act of self care to ask this question.
You might also notice that some questions fall more on the disharmonious spectrum. Did I exercise enough? Will it make me gain weight? What will everyone think?
I say spectrum because it will hold a unique charge for YOU. Wondering about weight gain if you are actively trying to lose weight will have a different charge if you’re trying to increase your weight for your health. A boxer needing to “make weight” to compete will have a different charge. An actor gaining weight for a role that has restricted their intake their whole career will have a unique charge.
The mere act of exploring this can also give you valuable information about yourself and your Self! Embrace the rainbow egg that is you!
The Choice Is Yours
To sum this all up…
Choices that are conscious decisions made by the authentic self generally take your needs into account. They are made with care and respect for your overall well being. They might not be what you want in the moment and you know deep down it is what you need.
Decisions made via programming, whether its unconscious, subconscious or conscious are rooted in fear and external beliefs and perceptions. While it feels like you’re in control, the programmes operating are actually pulling the strings. I’ll be exploring this concept with eating “healthy” in my next post!
You might be thinking what sort of programmes? So glad you asked!
Some of these include: diet culture, all -isms (racism, ageism, colorism, abelism, etc.), weight stigma, conditioning and messages you receive(d) from your family, friends, co-workers, school, society, culture, doctors, social media, literature, media, etc.
Many of these influence and play a role in eating disorders, disharmonious eating, and negative body image, which then influence your decision making! There are also other factors to consider such as obsessive compulsive disorder, depression, anxiety, ASD, medical conditions, religious beliefs, etc.
Next Steps
Friends, this is meant to shine a light of curiosity on this subject. There is no need to “fix” everything or anything right now. Just begin to notice and explore. I find that taking a gentle curious approach can be extremely helpful in building internal motivation for change. This can eventually help you to shift away from disharmonious thoughts, beliefs, mindsets and actions into living an authentic life and reclaiming your Self.
Why I like this approach is that it can be applied to all areas of your life. If food feels too hard, try it with movement or dating, boundaries, meditation, clothing, hobbies, work, social media, etc.
Lastly, take a breath and remember you don’t have “to do” anything. Let this all simmer and digest and trust the process.
Until next time friends, stay curious!