Our perception shapes our reality. We perceive something to be and voila, it is! However, sometimes we aren’t fully conscious of these perceptions because we’ve been conditioned into believing them as our truth. Along these lines, I’ve been thinking about the idea of when things go “wrong”.
When something goes wrong, it means it’s not going the way we intended, right? That implies that there is an inherent right way(s) and anything else is wrong. Oooof, this can create a lot of upset as things don’t always go according to plan!
If you prefer video, please watch my video adaptation of this blogpost!
Perception of things going wrong
What if you could see or perceive things differently? How might that impact your life and overall well being?
Do you know anyone that got sick or something tragic happened only to find out that it was the best thing that could have happened to them?
This is an extreme and sensitive example, but as I was there, it feels okay to use. How many stories did you hear of people running late to work on 9/11 only to find out that it saved their life? Running late was originally perceived as things going “wrong”, and then perceived as a blessing in disguise. The fact that this saying exists shows that what I’m discussing isn’t anything new.
Again, this is not an every day example, but it lends itself to this mindset of openness and trust. I want to share how I took this extreme example and applied it to my everyday life. I also want to preface this by saying that it took me a long time to cultivate this mindset and it surely wasn’t every time!
Back when I lived in NYC, when I missed the subway or bus in NYC. I told myself, I wasn’t meant to be on that one. Personally, I often would imagine terrible things happening if I had caught it, which I would not recommend to anyone!! I told myself, I’ll catch the next one and I’ll get there when I’m meant to. Thankfully my anxiety always made me super early to things, so that also made this more accessible for me.
The point is that we have the power to choose how we perceive things in life. Now, for many people struggling with mental health and imbalanced nervous systems, it certainly does not feel like a choice and I want to recognize that. And, I think the planting of seeds can be powerful. If you’re on the struggle bus, can you hold space (any amount) for the possibility that this could in fact be your truth at some point?
Please also remember that your journey will likely look very different from everyone else’s and that’s the point! We are all so unique with unique circumstances to navigate. This is also a great way to shift out of comparing yourself to others. It’s all interconnected, friends.
My personal belief is that there is no one way to do this work. As the saying goes, there are many paths up the mountain.
Embodiment Exercise
I invite you, if it’s comfortable, to try the following exercise to move from intellectualizing this concept, to embodying it.
Imagine or recall the feeling you get when something goes wrong. Now imagine perceiving it with a sense of openness, any amount.
Recognize the feelings, emotions and sensations arising with the same sense of openness. Not trying to judge it to change it. Allowing it to be.
Hold space and compassion for yourself in recognizing that yes, this is happening and it sucks.
Remind yourself that it’s not clear why this is happening. And, I trust that at the very least I might grow in some way.
It might be 1% of you at first. The more you practice this, the more it becomes your truth.
Take some time to check in with yourself to see how this is landing for you. Its also okay if its not!
My Personal Experience
When I look back at my life, I am so very grateful for everything that I’ve gone through. It made me who I am. Or rather it helped me realize who I am.
I was able to reclaim who was always there, just hidden under a landfill of sh*t thrust upon me and that I thrust upon myself. Please also know that it took a loooooot of work to get there and like everyone, I’m still very much a work in progress.
I have wondered what my experiences would have been like if I had gone through them with this sense of empowerment in my choice of how to perceive it. Now, I’m not a fan of regrets or playing the what if game. I say this as an invitation to myself and all of you reading this to imagine what life could be like moving forward with shifting our perception when things go “wrong”.
Fun fact! As I have been trying to implement this perception shift into my life, I’ve had a number of opportunities to help me with the effort. It hasn’t been easy. It hasn’t been “perfect”. What is has been is incredibly helpful for my overall well being on a psychological, physical and spiritual level. This is why I feel called to share it with you all.
Societal Conditioning
As I’ve been sitting with this, I also started to think about why I label things as bad or wrong. The labeling we apply immediately infuses it with a particular charge.
And since we collectively agree that certain things are wrong or bad, we are conditioned to perceive it that way. This generates a heck of a lot of fear in our society, no? And the kicker is that we weren’t given a choice in the matter. It’s like we’re programmed into having a fear based mentality worrying about when the shoe is going to drop.
So much of this work is breaking out of the societal conditioning and programming that you should think, feel and be a certain way. Programming for how you should think, feel and be in certain situations.
Shifting the perception, as we’ve been discussing, can free you up to be and experience life as it comes without the fear, but with more openness and trust. Returning to that child like innocence of wonder and excitement.
Please also know that this is my perception at this point in time. Don’t feel as though you have to take this as gospel. That would just be another person conditioning you. Let this all sink in and notice what feels aligned for you and what doesn’t. As always, follow your own path.
Thought Experiment
If this is resonating on any level, I invite you to explore the thought experiment below to help begin to shift your mindset.
Think about the last time something “went wrong” in your life. It will be helpful to think of something that happened a while back that doesn’t hold a lot of charge for you.
Now think about it in the context of that entire experience and in the context of the bigger picture that is your life.
Looking back on it, did anything come from that thing “going wrong”?
Please know that it’s okay if you can think of anything. Asking the question and looking back with the intention of seeing it with a different perception might help shift your mindset, with time.
Until next time, friends, stay curious!
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Disclaimer: This post is intended for informational purposes only and does not constitute individualized support or medical advice.
Blair is a registered dietitian, certified intuitive eating counselor, E-500 RYT and Reiki Master. She integrates spirituality with modern day science to help people heal and reclaim their relationship with their body and food and ultimately, to reclaim who they truly are.