If you’ve ever known a bulldog of any kind, you know how stubborn they can be. Pepper is no different and while he has taught me patience, presence and boundaries, it has often been through emotional triggers.
How Pepper Teaches Me
How this usually plays out with Pepper is that he just won’t walk. I’ll be patient up to a point and then it’s as if I go from Dr Jekyll to Mr Hyde.
I’ve been exploring it for years. What is this emotional trigger teaching me? Showing me?
I realized that I need to hold a stronger boundary before I drastically shift into Hyde. So I consciously tried to notice the subtle signs of frustration and start to head home before I hit that point.
To be honest, getting a stroller was the true game change. Below is his very first time in it!
I also recognized this is a pattern in my life and Pepper is helping me work through it.
Another realization that he continues to teach me is that we have conflicting wants in the moment. While I can see this as an example of wants vs needs, I still get frustrated.
The idea of wanting to leave vs needing to explore the frustration is the pièce de résistance.
Let’s dive in!
Planting of the Seed
Earlier in the day, Pepper was curled up on my lap as we sat outside and I realized we are a reflection of one another. We both share very similar qualities.
This moment felt like the seed that was about to blossom as we went for a hike in the woods.
Moments before my lesson with Pepper, I was thinking how grateful I am. It had been a magical morning of writing and nature.
The Moment of Activation
As we sat by a waterfall, I started feeling hungry and wanted to get back home to eat.
Pepper had other plans.
As I waited for him to follow me, I started getting hunger pangs. Now, I’m someone that gets hangry, so I knew that delightful shift to Mr Hyde was imminent if I didn’t flip the script.
I felt frustration bubbling to the surface and I made a conscious choice not to get swept up in it.
Often when people are activated or triggered emotionally, they can dip right into the old wounds and stories, reinforcing them and perpetuating the cycle. This makes it very hard to heal. This is also why professional support is so important.
You might be wondering what did I do to avoid this trap that I know so well.
I chose to got curious around the frustration. The seed from earlier had germinated and was ready to bloom.
Understanding the Assignment
Exploring this intense visceral emotional response, I realized that the frustration I was feeling towards Pepper was because I was hungry and I couldn’t eat because of him. Easy enough to recognize, right?
As I sat with curiosity…the mirror, the lesson, the teaching all hit me with a profound sense of awe and wonder.
I saw the frustration through the lens of my body.
Through Pepper, it felt like I was being shown how it felt when I wouldn’t properly nourish myself during my self-destructive years.
From an eating disorder to alcoholism to poor self care, I haven’t always been kind and respectful to my body.
And despite being the most aligned version of myself yet, I still don’t honor my body in the way it deserves. For example, I believe I have SIBO again. However, I just bought a bunch of delicious high FODMAP foods and I’ve been eating them before starting the treatment protocol.
The pattern is clearly still present and not fully healed. Message received.
Before I go further, I have to point out that to tell this story I have to speak of myself and my body as two separate entities. I must be clear that they are not separate. And when I disrespect my body, I disrespect myself.
Returning now to this experience.
The moment I “understood the assignment”, Pepper got up and started walking.
Confirmation in the most magical of ways.
Healing as a Society Through Emotional Triggers
I looked at Pepper and felt deep gratitude for everything he “does” to teach me. Things I often misinterpret as being stubborn or annoying are all coming from a place of Love and guidance. My little spirit guide in form.
And what if every person, being and situation that creates an emotional trigger for us is doing so with Love. Yes, I know it doesn’t feel that way, but what if they are creating an opportunity to heal.
Working in eating disorder recovery helped me see this. Any experience that became a trigger or was activating, was bringing something up to the surface to be seen. To be felt. To be healed. Using a behavior to escape it, simply prolonged this process. For many, this was their path until they had the tools and support to address the wounds that were needing to be seen. I know that was true for me and pretty much everyone I worked with.
Friends…
What if we allowed these emotional triggers and the people that poke at our wounds to be seen with love and gratitude for helping us to heal, integrate and grow? While also feeling all the feels that come with it!
And what if we as a society saw those moments with gratitude. Not projecting the wound onto the person that activated you emotionally, but thanking them for helping you to see it and heal it.
What if we were given the tools and support around this from a young age?
I spoke of shifting from cancel culture to compassion culture in another post and I think this perspective is foundational for that sort of shift to take place within our society.
Until next time friends, stay curious!
You Might Enjoy
- Reaction vs Response: The Drive That Changed Me
- From People-Pleasing to Presence: A Healing Unfolding
- Transmuting Judgment: From Expectation to Compassion
- Seeing Through New Eyes: The Energy of Rejection as a Spiritual Invitation
Creative Offering:
If these words serve you, let them fly.
If you teach from them, may they bloom again.
Credit is kind. Integrity is everything.
Blair is a registered dietitian, certified intuitive eating counselor, E-500 RYT and Reiki Master. She integrates spirituality with modern day science to help people heal and reclaim their relationship with their body and food.
Disclaimer:
These are my current musings. This content is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only and does not constitute medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the support of a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional regarding any concerns or conditions.