In a world that can feel like everything is imploding, I want to remind you that you are always in choice of your reaction or response in any given situation.
Believe me, I know it doesn’t feel that way. From dysregulated nervous systems to unhealed wounds, people tend to operate in reaction mode. Just look at any comment section on the internet.
While I understood this intellectually, embodying it took time. You don’t build new neural pathways overnight. And you aren’t going to embrace a new belief overnight.
Reaction vs Response
Once embodied, I began to realize that shifting one’s operating mode from reaction to response requires going deeper.
In my experience, it requires exploring the beliefs, perceptions, and perspectives that uphold the reaction — and the ones that allow for a new response.
It also requires patience and compassion to understand the current beliefs. And the allowance to build trust in something new.
This is often why we are given ample opportunity to practice. And that can be tricky!
The experiences — often challenging — are meant to help you shift. The more they’re seen through the old lens, the more that lens gets reinforced. Cue the frustration. Cue “this doesn’t work.” Cue the inability to trust the new belief.
What I’ve discovered through this process is, if something happens that feels like a challenge, I trust there is purpose in it and through it.
Not only do I trust it, I often feel a deep sense of gratitude as well.
The Aha Moment
While I had been embodying this deeper truth, I had not yet put it into words.
I realized my process was not only to intellectualize and then embody. My process for going even deeper was to intellectualize, embody, and then intellectualize through embodiment.
The morning this deeper understanding came through my writing, I was having tech issues. Each time something glitched, I thought thank you and put the screen away.
I didn’t get frustrated that things weren’t going “my way.”
I trusted.
I sat down to do some automatic writing and what came through seemed to flip the switch. It all became so clear. It wasn’t anything “new”, yet it landed in a way I had not fully embraced until that moment. I started to write and didn’t stop writing for many pages. It felt like I was writing a book, one I had not consciously planned to write.
Guess what? I have yet to reread it. And I choose to trust there is a reason why, rather than judge myself.
My Relationship with Anger
Friends, I intended for this to be a short blog post and well – it’s anything but. So let me jump into the example.
But first I want to get vulnerable and set the stage, so that perhaps you’ll feel hope that this is possible for you too. If it resonates.
I experience anger quite easily when driving.
But it wasn’t an emotion I felt comfortable with for a long time, and I’ve worked with it deeply in my process of reclaiming the Self.
Historically, driving was complicated for me.
I got my license junior year of high school. By senior year, the depression I was navigating spiraled and I experienced suicidal ideation daily. I was impulsive and an eating disorder had disconnected me from trusting myself. I was frequently in fear of myself when I drove.
With that said, driving had become a way to escape and work through my thoughts.
Like I said, complicated.
After graduation, I moved to NYC and eventually stopped driving altogether. God forbid I didn’t play the role of a “true” New Yorker.
Getting Back Behind The Wheel
In 2020, I relearned how to drive at 37 years old.
To understand the level of fear: my brother once asked me to turn on the car. It was keyless and I freaked the f*ck out. I had no idea what I was doing and was too scared to try.
But at 37, I was a different person. The old fears had no basis in reality and I felt relatively comfortable driving.
However, I soon noticed that most times I was on the road, I went into Hulk Mode. To be fair, I was driving at the Jersey Shore.
After a while, the anger started to feel incoherent with who I was becoming and I consciously worked on it.
I’ve come a long way. But it’s not exactly love and light all the time — especially when I’m back in NJ.
Driving Lesson: Check the Mirrors 2.0
Recently, I was heading home after food shopping when a car pulled out in front of me.
I instantly knew they were not in a rush. They were going the speed limit, yet it felt slow to me.
I could have switched lanes and zoomed past, but I didn’t. It felt like a lesson. In that moment, this driver was my teacher.
I had also watched someone do it the week prior and it didn’t sit well with me. I didn’t want to enable and fuel that type of energy.
Every moment informs the next.
About ten minutes later, my teacher made a left turn and I exhaled in relief.
Maybe two minutes after that, I found myself behind yet another car driving quite slow — like 15 mph slow. My next teacher.
I saw they were from out of state and understood why they might be cautious. And yet I still felt impatient. It feels almost claustrophobic in my body when this happens.
After a few minutes, they slowly began to parallel park — which explained everything. But now all of us had to wait because of oncoming traffic.
I was holding both understanding and impatience, but Hulk Mode had been activated.
When I saw an opening, I took it and sped past them. I felt the aggressive energy as I did this.
I reached the red light and thought, whoa. I am really impatient on this drive. Why am I letting this impact me this way?
I went down a thought spiral “about reality”, which led to the curious rabbit hole around the synchronicity of The Truman Show and The Matrix being released within a year of each other.
Yes. Inside my brain is a curious place.
The Power of Choice
As I got closer to home, I could feel the car behind me wanting to go faster.
This is one of the reasons I get flustered while driving. I realized recently it is because I can feel the energy of other drivers. It’s wonderful when I sense someone merging and they choose not to use their blinker.
But when someone wants me to go faster?
My people-pleasing side kicks in. As does the anger I feel when I let others override my boundaries. Fold in anxiety. Sprinkle in feeling trapped with a dollop of sadness around the selfishness of some drivers — myself included… and Voila!
My personal recipe for Hulk Mode while driving.
Knowledge really is power.
I tried my best not let it impact me and thought, now I’m their teacher.
I put my blinker on and I had barely turned the wheel when they drove around me and speed off.
My experience of it felt aggressive. I got angry and said, what an a**hole, as I stared them down.
And a few moments later, I noticed the uncomfortable feeling rising — the familiar stew of anger that could easily turn into rumination.
That was the moment I shifted from reaction to response.
They didn’t do anything I wouldn’t have done.
In fact, I had done the exact same thing ten minutes earlier.
From Separation to Reflection
I realized:
- How I might have made the driver parallel parking feel.
- That this was an opportunity to see myself clearly.
- To viscerally feel how I let others impact me.
- I was in the energy of separation — them vs. me.
- I was in judgement of another.
That drive home became a mirror because I chose to see it that way.
And that choice changed everything. This is the difference between reaction vs response.
I know this is long, but this part matters.
This is not about judging outdated beliefs, but seeing them with compassion. They may have served a purpose, like making you feel safe. And many were unknowingly indoctrinated across generations through family, culture, religion and society.
Compassion. Compassion. Compassion.
Connection over Division
Having had countless drives where I sat in the anger, this felt wildly more empowering.
Not only did I feel empowered — I felt connected to those drivers, not separate.
And that’s a shift humanity could use more of right now.
Until next time, friends — stay curious.
You Might Enjoy
- Divine Timing On The Road: What A Reckless Driver Taught Me
- Trust In The Timing: A Deer & A Timeline Shift
- A Powerful Lesson Hidden in a Few Bumps and Bruises
- Transmuting Judgment: From Expectation to Compassion
Creative Offering:
If these words serve you, let them fly.
If you teach from them, may they bloom again.
Credit is kind. Integrity is everything.
Blair is a registered dietitian, certified intuitive eating counselor, E-500 RYT and Reiki Master. She integrates spirituality with modern day science to help people heal and reclaim their relationship with their body and food.
Disclaimer:
These are my current musings — proofread and edited by AI. This content is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only and does not constitute medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the support of a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional regarding any concerns or conditions.