Are you operating in the illusion of safety through control?
Does it ever feel like there’s a force interfering with what you want? Like nothing goes your way, so you have to control everything?
What if that force is actually supporting you?
Understanding the Assignment
I recently wrote about a trip home from the food store that unexpectedly became a lesson in unity consciousness through impatience and anger towards the drivers around me.
My next trip back to the store was quite interesting. As I drove there, I realized I was driving on the open road, yet there was constant flow of traffic going the opposite direction.
Now, these are country roads, so by traffic I mean maybe 10 cars over the course of 10 minutes. Even so, it felt like a lot and unusual enough that I noticed.
I felt such joy and gratitude at this little nod and wink. Confirmation I understood the assignment.
Surrendering Control
And then came a profound realization about control and surrender. I realized the “force” that makes it feel like the universe is conspiring against us is actually supporting us in letting go of the illusion of control.
It isn’t “out to get us”. It’s trying to free us.
Let me explain.
I’ve spent much of my life, and still do in many ways, wanting to control things. We all do.
You might be surprised how insidious it can be. From the speed of the cars around you, to the direction of toilet paper, to how or when people respond – we often want things to be the way we want them to be.
It makes sense. We want comfort. We want to feel safe. And we’ve been taught this comes with being in control.
But what if that sense of safety through control is actually an illusion?
The Force is With You, Not Against You
How often does it feel like this force is getting in your way?
Traffic when you’re running late.
Your partner not doing what you asked.
Rain on your beach vacation.
Wifi signal dropping.
The appliance breaking.
Your charger suddenly dying.
Here’s a gentle reframe.
What if the force that can feel like it’s “out to get us” is actually supporting us?
What if these moments are opportunities to surrender? To move into a state of radical acceptance.
Because the more we cling to control, the more necessary it feels. Eventually, the illusion begins to feel like truth.
But what if these moments are akin to Morpheus offering the red pill?
To accept what is before us and trust that we can move through it, even if we don’t yet understand why.
To shatter the illusion of the Matrix.
This doesn’t mean you have to be grateful and joyful. Though that may come with time. I know that has been true for me.
And in surrender, you can still be a sniveling mess. Because that emotional response is part of it too. We’re here to experience being human.
I can say from my own experience those moments of being a sniveling mess, while also trusting have resulted in some of the most profound unfoldings in my journey.
My Personal Journey
And that is what keeps me forging ahead in a state of trust and surrender.
Please know this is all quite new for me. Much of my life was in and out of depression, anxiety, an eating disorder, alcoholism and suicidality.
I share that because I know how it feels to read something hopeful and believe that it’s not possible for me. I also know how annoying what I’m saying might sound. Full transparency, it probably would have pissed off past versions of myself.
If that’s you, maybe see this as the planting of a seed. A seed that may or may not germinate in this life. Also knowing, it might not be purposeful for it to germinate in this life.
The more we can soften the egoic grip, the easier this all becomes!
The Illusion of Safety Through Control
Notice if you feel any tension reading this. Because when we want to control, there is grasping. Gripping. Tension.
In that grasping and tension, we often see through a very narrow lens.
That lens is usually built upon fear. Which is why control can feel like safety.
The illusion of safety through control.
When we surrender, we realize this force is not out to get us.
It’s freeing us. Helping us see through new eyes. Opening us to what we need rather than what we think we need.
So the next time you feel like a force is derailing you…
Notice it.
Ground.
Drop into your breath and into your body.
Trust in the opportunity presented before you.
You probably won’t know why right away, because part of this is also trusting in the unknown.
Surrendering to the Unknown
Ah yes, the unknown. The fear of which often drives the need to control.
Remember COVID? An individual and collective experience in the unknown.
Many people realized the lives they created weren’t actually serving them. They saw through the illusion.
And many others went deeper into fear and division. It deepened the illusion of safety through control.
Free will, our ability to choose, became quite the divisive topic during that time.
I believe the ultimate act of free will isn’t about controlling the choices we make. It is the choice to surrender the will of the self to the Self.
Accept what is before you and surrender to who and what you truly are. And accepting does not mean you have to like it or condone it. Both things can be true.
This perspective of free will actually free you from binary decision making of right vs wrong. You shift into a state of alignment and flow.
Go Inward
It’s like the finger trap toy.
The more you resist and pull away, the tighter it becomes.
To free yourself, you have to push your fingers inward to loosen the grip.
Choose to go inward
Loosen the grip
Surrender
Trust
Free yourself
And May the force be with you. 🤭
Until next time friends, stay curious.
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- Divine Guidance While Watching Reality TV
- The Misdirection of Energy: A Path to Finding Balance
Creative Offering:
If these words serve you, let them fly.
If you teach from them, may they bloom again.
Credit is kind. Integrity is everything.
Blair is a registered dietitian, certified intuitive eating counselor, E-500 RYT and Reiki Master. She integrates spirituality with modern day science to help people heal and reclaim their relationship with their body and food.
Disclaimer:
These are my current musings — proofread and edited by AI. This content is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only and does not constitute medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the support of a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional regarding any concerns or conditions.