We live in a very polarized world these days. It can feel natural to immediately reject something that is being said. But if we get curious and tune into the energy behind the words, rather than the words themselves, things get interesting.
I’ve found that when the energy of rejection comes up strongly, it can be an invitation to see through new eyes.
Let me explain with an example that I recently experienced.
A Lesson in Self-Cherishing
I was listening to a class at a Buddhist temple, which happened to be about self-cherishing.
This is a new term for me, but my understanding is that a self-cherishing mind believes itself to be more important than others.
A very appropriate topic for this particular moment in the now!
However, I noticed a sense of rejection arising around what was being said on the topic.
There is no right or wrong way, so why was this energy arising? I started to shift the energy of rejection into curiosity.
I stopped focusing on the words and zoomed out to the overall energy of the message. Soon, I began to see a self-cherishing mind as a way of describing separation and hierarchy.
While I greatly appreciated the teaching, I also honored the sense of rejection I felt.
As I share later in this post, the curiosity revealed a layer of the rejection was rooted in an avoidance of going within about my own relationship with a self-cherishing mind.
Inviting Mara to Tea
What I was specifically rejecting in this teaching was the idea that others are more important than you, and that a self-cherishing mind is your worst enemy that should be blamed for your suffering and destroyed. For context, those were the words used.
I was reminded of the Buddhist teaching, “Inviting Mara to Tea.” Essentially, the Buddha invites the demon Mara to have tea. He does not try to destroy Mara. Instead, he says, “I see you, Mara,” and treats the demon as an honored guest.
It is a metaphor for accepting the parts of ourselves and others that we do not like.
Finding Acceptance
Please know that acceptance does not mean you condone something. There is simply an acceptance that it is present.
The energy of acceptance can lead to understanding why something is present, which naturally shifts us into compassion.
If you’re wondering how this plays out in everyday life, I invite you to check out this recent blog post. The self-cherishing energy was very present in me while driving home from the grocery store. The choice to see it through new eyes immediately shifted me into unity consciousness.
I know it can feel very difficult to do this with much of what is happening in the world today. That is why it can be helpful to practice with “low-stakes” experiences like the one I am sharing today, and in the post I just mentioned.
My Personal Shift
Let me walk you through how shifting out of the energy of rejection and into curiosity taught me a valuable lesson.
This teaching felt especially timely because I’ve been wondering whether my desire for solitude is selfish and part of an old pattern of escapism.
Was it coming from a self-cherishing mind?
In moments, yes.
Could my initial rejection have also been a subconscious avoidance of wanting to explore this within myself?
Probably!
And….
In not being so polarized in my experience, I was able to see an old self-destructive pattern of escapism through new eyes.
My Escape Route
For many years while living in NYC, I would say that I wanted to live in a cave. Constantly surrounded by people and stimulation, with no cave in sight, I escaped through self-destructive behaviors like drinking.
This pattern actually began much earlier in my life through various avenues. In therapy jargon, it was a maladaptive coping mechanism stemming from unprocessed trauma, while also lacking the skills to communicate my feelings.
For a long time, I judged this need to escape. Once I understood why it was there, I felt deep compassion for my past selves.
Over time, this compassion transmuted any residual shame into…wait for it…yes, more compassion.
What shifted in the experience I’m writing about today was realizing that my desire to live in a cave and escape was not just a maladaptive coping mechanism. It was also offering insight into what I needed.
A fun synchronicity of this experience is that Buddha had tea with Mara in a cave.
My “Mara” was telling me that I needed a life of simplicity in nature. It was not just a desire, it was a requirement for my well-being.
To be fair, living alone in the woods back then might not have been the wisest choice, but the impulse was a strong message that I needed to leave the city.
I’m not saying that all maladaptive coping mechanisms offer direct insight into what someone needs, but this feels true for this aspect of my own journey.
Energy of Rejection
So the energy of rejection that arose was not only about the teaching. It was a signal to pay attention. Not to reject it as wrong, but to recognize that something potent was asking for my attention through the lens of openness and curiosity.
I certainly didn’t expect all of this to unfold and I’m very grateful that I was in a place to receive and connect the dots.
Thankfully, coming through Buddhist teachings pretty much set me up for success.
So the next time you go to reject something, is it perhaps offering you a doorway to see through new eyes?
Until next time friends, stay curious!
You Might Enjoy
- Divine Timing On The Road: What A Reckless Driver Taught Me
- Trust In The Timing: A Deer & A Timeline Shift
- A Powerful Lesson Hidden in a Few Bumps and Bruises
- Transmuting Judgment: From Expectation to Compassion
Creative Offering:
If these words serve you, let them fly.
If you teach from them, may they bloom again.
Credit is kind. Integrity is everything.
Blair is a registered dietitian, certified intuitive eating counselor, E-500 RYT and Reiki Master. She integrates spirituality with modern day science to help people heal and reclaim their relationship with their body and food.
Disclaimer:
These are my current musings — proofread and edited by AI. You can read the transcript here. This content is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only and does not constitute medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the support of a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional regarding any concerns or conditions.