Part of my journey of surrender and trust has been letting go of expectations. It’s still something I am practicing and embodying as I dsicover how insidious expectations can be.
Like when I shared about how I realized my expectations for someone to say thank you. When someone didn’t, it created a sense of resentment.
Why? Because I didn’t get what I expected.
So it wasn’t the person, it was was my expectation of a thank you that made me feel that way. I learned a profound lesson that gratitude isn’t always expressed through a thank you and nobody owes us anything.
See how insidious expectations can be?
This brings me to hope. Hope is a funny thing. Because we try to keep hope alive when life gets hard, but is that truly serving us?
I’m not here to say if is or it’s not, only you can truly discern that for yourself.
What I do want to explore is the limitations of hope, which I recently learned from a fawn.
Lessons from a Fawn
One day I heard a crying sound. I’m new to country living and wasn’t sure what it was. Long story short, it was a fawn and it taught me so many lessons that heart wrenching day.
It was interesting because I was able to let go of the expectations of the outcome…after the fact. It was hearing it suffer, at least as I perceived through my human lens, that I couldn’t make peace with.
The situation was so intense, it felt purposeful.
Why?
It was hard to understand while I was experiencing it. It was only afterwards that I was truly able to drop in and reflect. Today, I will share one of the realizations this fawn so graciously brought me.
If you’re wondering, yes I reached out to the DEC and multiple wildlife rehabilitators, who all said leave it be and the mother will come back.
My neighbor was the first person I reached out to as she is an animal lover and I knew she would know what to do.
She ended up naming the fawn Hope, which at the time I thought was so lovely!
One day she sent me a video of a fawn saying, “look its Hope”! But I knew in my heart it was the other fawn that was left on my lawn the week prior.
I didn’t know for sure of course, but in that moment, I said to myself, “Hope is dead”.
Limitations of Hope
This stopped me in my tracks with how it felt, because I didn’t know for sure and why not keep Hope alive, right?
As I judged myself, I noticed an intriguing sensation around this statement that made me very curious.
So I said it over and over again listening and feeling into it through the lens of the neutral observer.
It was in that moment that I saw the limitations of hope.
Expectations
First of all, it puts our focus on an outcome. One that may or may not in our best interest. If youv’e ever hoped for something to happen, only to find out that it was not at all what you were expecting…you know exactly what I mean.
Hope emphasizes expectations.
It is only when we can let go of them when what’s possible begins to expand.
For example, when I was nomadic, I knew I needed hit pause for various reasons. I didn’t know how it would unfold. I had no expectations or hope in any kind of how it would turn out. I was even considering options that I knew would not serve me, but I wanted to be open. `
Why? Because my nomadic journey in and of itself was an act of letting go into surrender and trust. Pepper being hospitalized the weekend we moved out set the stage for what was to come. I had no other option but to surrender and trust. And every single time, it worked out in a way I didn’t expect.
So when a home found me while staying at an Airbnb, it felt like the pot of gold on the other side of the rainbow…if the rainbow signified surrender and trust.
While it has also brought many growth opportunities along the way, it is beyond what I could have hoped or imagined for myself in so many ways.
It deepened my capacity to trust in what’s possible and showed me how much I still limit myself.
When Hope Becomes Trust
This next reason was the main event in terms of realization.
Hope can imply doubt.
If you hope something will happen, there is an aspect of you that doesn’t know for sure.
And then it all became so clear. The intriguing sensation I felt saying, hope is dead, was fully realized.
What if hope is dead because we’re moving into trust.
Now yes, you can trust that someone will do something only to find out that they don’t.
So what I’m talking about here is the trust that comes through surrender.
To trust that whatever happens is purposeful in some way. That you’re being guided and supported the entire time, especially when it might not feel like it.
It organically allows you to let go of expectations and be open to the infinite possibilities that may arise when you expand your aperture of what is possible.
Of course, there are many situations that seem almost impossible to consider trusting there is purpose.
And…
It is also those situations where many have nothing left, but to surrender into trust.
True Soverignty
Trust doesn’t have to mean you give away your power and sovereignty.
Personally, this level of trust is what has allowed me to step into my power.
It allows me to see sovereignty no longer through the lens of hyper-independance, which is rooted in control.
This is rooted in, yes, trust.
Here’s a catch 22 I can only see now in hindsight through my own experience with hyper-independance and wanting to control everything.
I needed to do everything on my own, yet I didn’t trust myself.
Years of struggling with mental health imbalances and the manifestations of that, diminished my ability to trust in myself and my decision making. So often, I did nothing. I would avoid it until it got to the point where I no longer could.
When I surrender and trust, it allows me to reclaim it within myself.
To be clear, It didn’t magically happen overnight and I’m still very much in the process of reclamation. But it is getting easier to embody it with every opportunity I’m gifted with.
Again, it did not feel like that hearing the fawn cry.
And...
I continued to drop into this space to support me through the experience. Why? Because I now have experience and proof of the process that allows me to lean more fully into it.
For example, the drive to the Airbnb where the house found me was absolutely awful. I cried and was angry and realized I was officially done with being nomadic and I also trusted there was a reason.
The house found me a few days later. Its a much longer story, which I’ll share in time.
Take A Leap of Faith
Here’s another catch 22 for some, which will require a leap of faith.
Because you might have to surrender and trust before you have any proof.
And…
In that act of true sovereignty, you also might discover past experiences now reveal themselves as the proof you need to lean in more deeply.
With that said, this won’t resonate with everyone. But if you’re still reading it means there is an aspect of this that speaks to you.
I invite you to sit with it and pull on that thread and see where it leads you.
Can you trust in the process?
And until next itme friends, stay curious.
You Might Enjoy
- The Illusion of Safety Through Control: Learning to Surrender to Life
- Trust In The Timing: A Deer & A Timeline Shift
- Transmuting Judgment: From Expectation to Compassion
- When the Forest Plays Back: A Lesson in Expanding Our Awareness
Creative Offering:
If these words serve you, let them fly.
If you teach from them, may they bloom again.
Credit is kind. Integrity is everything.
Blair is a registered dietitian, certified intuitive eating counselor, E-500 RYT and Reiki Master. She integrates spirituality with modern day science to help people heal and reclaim their relationship with their body and food.
Disclaimer:
These are my current musings. This content is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only and does not constitute medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the support of a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional regarding any concerns or conditions.